I’m important too

Happy Monday everyone!  I hope you had an awesome weekend, mine was wonderful, thank you for asking.  I am very happy to report that my run streak is still going strong. (you know, the whole eight days so far)  I have officially signed up for the pumpkin run 5k on October 29th and would love to run the entire thing, right now I can run about 2 miles on a good day.  So I figure over a month to get the last mile is doable.  I am not worried about pace at this point, just distance.  

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This is going to sound like a no-brainer, but it's important to put yourself first sometimes.  I can be so filled with mommy guilt or just plain laziness that I don’t take time to reconnect with myself.  I don't want to come off selfish or ungrateful because I do have two beautiful kids that I am very blessed to call me mom, but on that same note, I have spent 28 years trying to identify who Paula is that to lose it all within 3 years to become a mom can be stupefying.  I don’t want to say motherhood is a balance because it's not.  Motherhood will always win, it will always need more of your time, energy and work, and I am perfectly okay with that.  But reacquainting myself with myself is needed sometimes too.  Frankly, I think it makes me a better mother.

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Mommy time as I like to call it, can be as simple as going to Target by myself.  Just having time to myself where I am not arguing with a three year old about why he can’t bring the worm into the house, he can’t put it in his pocket, he can’t put it in his cup holder in the car, and he can’t give it to his sister is amazing.  Instead I can calmly stroll into Target, grab a coffee and look at anything to my hearts content, possibly twice.  That is wonderful.  

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An even more valuable source of mommy time is when I can get together with friends.  This only happens every 3-4 weeks or so and it is wonderful, because we all are in the same boat.  We all have that mommy guilt, but we recognize that this is important too.  We are important too.  Sometimes to be a good mom we need to step away and look back at the person that we were, even though we will never be that person again, it is good to know that we still have some of that carefree fun loving person inside of us, that is concerned there may be worms in her sons pockets…

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Paula